I took it myself to get pregnant again no matter what. I tried Clomid for 3 months, I took pictures, I tried acupuncture, pursued hysterosalpingogram, various tests and finally IUI (inter-uterine insemination). After a year of riding a rollercoaster, I finally got pregnant.
This time together with the twins …
I was not surprised when I saw and heard two small heartbeats. The twins run away in my family. When I called my husband along with the good news, he was working. He was mesmerized by his head on his two legs. I’m too happy. My pregnancy is not better. I started to taste good, I ate together well, there was no pain, pain, pain, pain, discomfort or swelling. Then on a Friday in July I entered for normal control. I have no complaints if the blood pressure increases. I think it must be quite high, because I was immediately rested in the sleeping area.
The following week, on Tuesday and Wednesday, I experienced an increase in belching just like the increase in stomach acid. I am not starting to be relieved along with Situs Bandar Ceme this matter. Then I get a small swelling in my hands and feet, along with along with lower back pain and bright orange urine. I am not aware of all this is a big red flag that I go to HELLP Syndrome and preeclampsia. My kidney and heart close and I experience total organ failure!
Friday, July 30 in the whirlwind of MD and RN and my assistant to attend an emergency cesarean section. I gave birth to two beautiful little boys. Only 26 weeks old.
Baby A is £ 1 6 oz. and Baby B is 2lbs 3 ounces. As soon as my twin brother was shown to us, they were taken away by the NICU Team (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). Returning to the recovery area I experienced “guilt” emotional turmoil. Guilty of not being able to bring my twins to the era of full office. The guilt that my body gave me at an early age. Guilty that I didn’t give my child a chance to fight.
Guilty that it was all my fault.
The first time I saw my son at NICU I started to get overwhelmed! They look too small and fragile and almost lifeless, along with many lines attacking their small bodies, ventilators to support them breathe, a tube to feed them.
I began to be useless, not available that I could do to support them. Desperate, there is no miracle that can avoid this. Helpless, not available that I can do to protect them.
I began to be unable and sick to see them so small, and so stupid too. It’s hard for me to realize what the doctors and nurses said about my little boys.